My Leap into Heaven

Every suicide attempt is unique and an entirely solitary ordeal. If you’re tempted to judge or qualify someone else’s experience, please, just Stop! God only knows. Let me witness that He’s not engaged in judgement but only deep love and compassion for a dear child who cannot feel it.

Sex Trafficking & “The Sound of Freedom”

My boyfriend and I were invited to Las Vegas for a private screening of Sound of Freedom, an absolutely brilliant film which tells the TRUE story of one of Tim Ballard’s most heroic and adventurous rescue missions. Ballard is the founder of Operation Underground Rescue (O.U.R.) which seeks to rescue and bring healing to victims of sex trafficking. JJ and I volunteer with O.U.R.

Life’s Worth Living Podcast

Nicole was invited as a guest on Jon Gossett’s Life’s Worth Living podcast series to talk about her suicide attempt. She gives details about her visit to the other side of the veil, and the love and hope she found there.

There Were Miracles!

This is a play-by-play of my leap off of Web Hill in St. George, Utah, as recorded by my mother and boyfriend on social media, from the day after my suicide attempt until my first week home from the hospital 3 months later. I fell 60 feet and then rolled another 40 feet down the cliff. That was the beginning of a long stream of miracles. Among those, was my mother’s decision to go against her natural inclinations and social training to honor me by doing what she knew I would want her to do: go public with the truth.

A Mother’s View

Loved ones suffer alongside the survivors of trauma and abuse and in some ways can be co-victims. Often, parents are innocent bystanders who feel powerless to help or even understand their struggling child. These parents also need to know that it’s not their fault and that they are supported and understood. The level of helplessnessContinue reading “A Mother’s View”

JJ’s Thoughts on Mental Health and Suicide

I am JJ Brown, Nicole’s boyfriend. I wrote this on my Facebook to help others to understand how Nicole and so many others could be so afflicted with the mental health issues they face. It is a complicated issue. My summary does not tell the whole story, but it tells a part of the story the medical community is not equipped to explain.

The 7 Steps of Healing with DID

Here is a useful description of steps of the healing process for those with DID. Sometimes healing involves fusing the various alters, but not always. Elements of each step can bleed between these steps, and elements of the early steps will still present themselves even during later steps. Each step can be messy, but this outline helps me recognize that messiness can actually be evidence of healing.