It’s About Him

I asked myself just now—writhing in hellish nerve pain that has traveled up to the middle of my thighs because of John Ellis’s healing water: what am I supposed to learn from all of this???!!?!?!!?!!!?!!?

Then I remembered the answer what’s-his-face taught me—if you haven’t healed from something…it’s because it’s serving a FUNCTION in your life.

So then I effing realized—deep down to my very bones, finally, the lesson I’ve been VERY aware of needing to learn but somehow, unable to learn until now: it’s not about me. It’s about Him.

It’s not about Nicole, who <insert whiney voice> jumped off Webb Hill and went to Heaven and who’s been the focal point at my proverbial coffee table ever since—it’s about Him.

And right when I realized that—just for a couple moments—the pain suddenly lifted.

For a few moments…but it was enough; I’m realizing that if something is in your life—no matter what it is—it truly is serving a function: if you don’t like it and you want to change it, you need to learn the lesson deep deep and deeper down to the marrow of your bones—then, your circumstances will change for the ultimate Good, and the ultimate God.

I realized that this is a party for Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. They are the focus. And They are deserving of it. None of the rest of us is!! And right when you learn this lesson, They give all the focus you need to fulfill your mission back to you. But you need to keep on giving it to Them for the rest of your life. Only then will we become like Solomon, who started out his career truly humble, who gave everything to God, and then God made everything—wrung every good drop out of that man’s destiny.

So, how do I stop this pain and even eventually stand up and walk? I need to not only have my focus on—but give the focus, and trust to—Him. Then I’ll be the instrument He needs me to be.