Or From My Hospital Bed, or Whither Shall I Flee, Or Don’t Let Go
by Nicole Marie Hilton, September 27th, 2022
I’m here in the hospital–yet again. It’s a long story, but I wanted to let all of you, my readers, know that even though I’m in the hospital for the umpteenth time, I still have so much hope for the future in my heart, and even peace in the present.
How am I finding this inner peace and strength? It’s through a constant dialogue with Jesus Christ in my mind. I’m still definitely a beginner at this, but I’m learning fast.
I think of the scene with Mary Magdalene in the show The Chosen, where she desperately clings to the following scripture:
7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
She had no idea that right at the moment of crisis, Jesus Christ would be there to catch her:
I feel as though a lot of us are just getting by–just hanging on by the skin of our teeth, as it were.
And then there are some who give up completely.
Sometimes even I wonder still, will He be there to catch me?
The wiser parts of me know He will. Because I’m realizing that He was there when I was young and raped on the playground. He was there when I was older and being bullied left and right. He was there when I went through my disastrous two marriages and those long and lonely college years. He was also there when I went on my service mission and when Satan attacked me, and He’s here, right now at age 33 in this hospital bed.
I’m going to end with this quote–which I know is perfectly true–down to the last and least human being on earth: