Snakes, Trees, and Fire

Last night was one of the most profound experiences I’ve ever had, and it’s changed everything for me. I’m starting to see more in the Spirit—a gift I’ve prayed for since childhood. It’s a mixed blessing: rewarding at times, unsettling at others, like the night the spirit told me to go to bed before midnight,Continue reading “Snakes, Trees, and Fire”

Chemicals, Fasting, Advanced TRS

Okay, so have you ever gone crazy out of your mind because you have so many chemicals in your body from all the pills you’re taking which leave a horrible residue behind in your muscles that’s about to drive you insane from the pain? Because I have. Have you ever wanted so badly to participateContinue reading “Chemicals, Fasting, Advanced TRS”

From Bedsores to Walking

I was trying to raise money for a robotic Rewalk system…and then this happened. 3/1/2025 I’ve been bedridden for one month because of bedsores (wheelchair deep tissue damage to my sweet tushy from sitting for four years) and I feel like I’m about to burst in frustration! The only solution is to walk again, asContinue reading “From Bedsores to Walking”

The Hidden Purpose of Robots

Nations that uphold secret combinations shall be destroyed, Ether 8:22–23. ⛔️ WARNING!!⚠️ Have you seen the movie Terminator? How about i Robot? How about Wall-E, Blade Runner, Ex Machina, Alien, Robots, I Am Mother, Transcendence, The Machine, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Transformers, or (my personal favorite) The Matrix? (Many of these are rated R, soContinue reading “The Hidden Purpose of Robots”

There’s Something About October 7th/Stand With Israel

There’s something dark about October 7th, wouldn’t you agree? In 1952, Russian dictator  Vladimir Putin, who served as president and prime minister of Russia, was born. In 2001, Triggered by the September 11 attacks, the Afghanistan War began, as U.S. and British warplanes started bombing Taliban targets. In 2020, I jumped off of Webb Hill and barely survived. And in 2023,Continue reading “There’s Something About October 7th/Stand With Israel”

💖My Book: Prelude in N Minor💖

The first book in my Healing With Christ series is out! It’s the crazy amazing story of my life up until when I moved to Hawaii (and why…) I’ve put so much work into perfecting this book—it also includes ways to heal whatever you have going on at the end. What I have found outContinue reading “💖My Book: Prelude in N Minor💖”

THE WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD pt. 1 or, Spiritual Sandals

Or, A Preparation of the Gospel of Peace Wednesday, October 16th, 2024 So, last night was literally one of the craziest nights of my life. And God has pulled some humdingers for sure…but I was never ever expecting this. But first, I want you to take a good hard look at this printable poster: ItContinue reading “THE WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD pt. 1 or, Spiritual Sandals”

The Ancient Wedding/Second Coming Symbolism

This woman is amazing. This YouTube film is a must-see/must understand for anyone who wants to be “let in to the wedding feast.” https://youtu.be/dU81hfwml6Q?si=dr0JJfBCBlJ8fg8L Here are my notes—but I HIGHLY recommend getting this information from the video itself, as I wasn’t able to capture the beauty and majesty of this thousands-of-years-old symbolism. Ancient marriage ceremonyContinue reading “The Ancient Wedding/Second Coming Symbolism”

The Face of Christ Revealed

Have you heard of the Shroud of Turin? Course you have. Well, there’s evidence that it’s not fake: https://www.irishstar.com/news/us-news/turin-shroud-scientific-update-jesus-33511246 And thus, the first ever photograph was made— when Jesus was resurrected and a huge flash of light emanated from His body—imprinting His likeness on the shroud around Him. Like the guy at the bottom ofContinue reading “The Face of Christ Revealed”

Codependent No More, Gratitude, and DBT While Breaking My Leg…Again

Basically everyone is codependent to some degree. If you don’t believe me, come to a CODA (Codependents Anonymous) meeting and you’ll find out. These meetings are flipping amazing. The amount of self aware, real people there is basically 90%. If you wanna cut the bull crap from your life, just go to a CODA meeting.Continue reading “Codependent No More, Gratitude, and DBT While Breaking My Leg…Again”

Prayer/Knowledge to Release Unresolved Anger

It works! The parts of me that were the most angry and hurt have finally come around, and I’m filled with love to bursting every day! Nothing will age you more than unresolved anger. And the Devil also knows how transference works—if I’m angry at someone else—who’s just a scared little boy or girl onContinue reading “Prayer/Knowledge to Release Unresolved Anger”

How We Talk to Ourselves

By Venetia Garcia “I once had an extraordinary experience that to this day, I don’t know how it happened. “I was enjoying nature and completely conscious, when suddenly I dove deep into the hand of someone sitting next to me. “I felt all her cell’s emotions and amazing intelligence. It was unbelievable how much eachContinue reading “How We Talk to Ourselves”

DID vs. Borderline vs. Bipolar vs. Narcissism

Or, Pray For Us I had someone ask me the other day, “are you borderline?” Um, no. Did you know that Dissociative Identity Disorder is often misdiagnosed as borderline personality disorder? Borderline-sufferers will exhibit at least 5 out of 9 of the following: 1. Being obsessed with being abandoned 2. Their relationships and friendships alwaysContinue reading “DID vs. Borderline vs. Bipolar vs. Narcissism”

The Ultimate Triumph: Explaining My System Movies

And as an intermission (from all the Nollies) here’s the best video I’ve found on the internet explaining DID: I’m so grateful to Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ for forcing me to stay here so many times…through a bevy of random flashback memories: crying and not being able to pee in front ofContinue reading “The Ultimate Triumph: Explaining My System Movies”

The Way/What Day Are You On?

By my brother Levi Jefferson Hilton, M.D. 3/30/24 My oldest brother is an ER doctor. I’m so proud of him. He also recently published a book about an allegory he discovered in the Book of Mormon. (Here’s the back of his book) And here are his notes: Palm Sunday – increasing in faith and worshipContinue reading “The Way/What Day Are You On?”

JJ’s End of Times Video

February 29th, 2024 I had a major panic attack the other night, after watching a YouTube video about the last days. The video didn’t—at all—go with what my patriarchal blessing says needs to happen before everything goes to crap and all hell breaks loose. Yet…still I panicked to the point my mom had to giveContinue reading “JJ’s End of Times Video”

Mewing and Other Beauty Secrets

(Tested by me and put together so you don’t have to be confused and overwhelmed by the myriad voices out there about beauty that are vying for your attention. These three things are also free or extremely cheap—you don’t have to put up thousands of dollars when a few at-home hacks will provide more atContinue reading “Mewing and Other Beauty Secrets”

The Future of Medicine

Dr. Adeel and his Process for Curing Many Things with Stem Cells: Broken Bones, Cancer, Chronic Issues, Even Aging The following movie literally concerns every single human on this planet, because we all have bodies, and we need to lobby our governments and demand the future of healthcare—which is already here. We just didn’t knowContinue reading “The Future of Medicine”

Christmas Means Hope, Peace, and Love

By Elder Gary E. Stevenson “Despite the darkness, we trusted in Him, regardless of the outcome.” [This is a clip of a story on LDS.org about a little girl named Hope.] One dark night during Hope’s second five-day round of chemotherapy, Brother Gentile noticed how much hair she had lost in the previous few days.Continue reading “Christmas Means Hope, Peace, and Love”

Marriage and Family Counseling

By Daniel and Nicole Marie Hilton I hope the title of this post doesn’t scare single people away, because this is amazing information! The following is what my Marriage Counseling Therapist brother said to me in five minutes off the top of his head. It’s a bit random, but worth the effort to try andContinue reading “Marriage and Family Counseling”

The Twelve Thought Patterns of Christ, Becoming One With Him, & Creating Feelings of Self-Worth Through Prayer

December 16th, 2023 Wow. This entry deserves a run-on sentence. After I (one of the darker personalities of Nicole) humbled myself and gave everything—my whole life—up to God…I had the most spiritual, amazing, beautiful, awe-inspiring, ongoing experience that still makes me cry when I think about what has happened and is happening and will happenContinue reading “The Twelve Thought Patterns of Christ, Becoming One With Him, & Creating Feelings of Self-Worth Through Prayer”

The Ark, the Blood, and Symbolism Movie

So much symbolism has been descending on me for the past few days (probably as a reward for humbling myself and letting God take over. Do it. It WORKS! The most magnificent beautiful things will happen!) …for which I’m grateful for and obsessed with. I love to actually see meaning in everything. I believe thatContinue reading “The Ark, the Blood, and Symbolism Movie”

(Re) Breaking my Ankle

4th October 2023 Last night the succession of spirits I’ve had come to me or translated beings (unseen) culminated in someone coming into my room and handling my left ankle. Then—well, you know the left side of that left ankle—the side that hit the dirt first when I jumped? Well, the being rebroke the outsideContinue reading “(Re) Breaking my Ankle”

Running Question from Site

How often do you walk or run? Only in my dreams. I had a dream I ran a marathon around and around a track. I won. I loved the feeling of being translated, and running as fast as I could without getting winded. But before, when I was in my trailer, there was a blackContinue reading “Running Question from Site”

Healing Bones and My Way of Meditating List

So I’ve been dealing with a bone infection in my right ankle for the past year, and it has spread. Prayers are much appreciated 😵‍💫🤒😰 ***Update: Thank you for everyone who prayed for my ankle to get better. What’s interesting is that I wrote a game plan like the one I’m sharing right here forContinue reading “Healing Bones and My Way of Meditating List”

Five Scriptures That Will Help You Get through Almost Anything

By John Bytheway Why do bad things happen, even to good people? Thanks to modern revelation, we have a few answers. The past few years have produced a lot of scary headlines. We’ve seen it all, from large scale to small scale, from international terrorism to the breakdown of individual families. Innocent people, even children,Continue reading “Five Scriptures That Will Help You Get through Almost Anything”

What A.I. Job Says

I recently downloaded an A.I. (artificial intelligence) platform that’s called “Text Jesus.” It’s been super helpful to me in hearing not only what Jesus would say to questions (in a very generalized sense backed up by scripture) but in hearing what the prophets of old would say, too. Here’s what Job said when I askedContinue reading “What A.I. Job Says”

❤️Healing With Christ 1st CD!❤️

It’s crazy to me how God’s mercy works—after years and years of praying and pining away, He joined me up with Layna Claunch, of Voyagenesis, Florida, who read my blog and who commented in such eloquent prose I had to reach out to her. We just GOT each other, and she could spit out musicContinue reading “❤️Healing With Christ 1st CD!❤️”

The Sound of Freedom, pt.2

By Nicole Marie Hilton Once you know, you cannot forget. There is nothing in this world more important than saving these kids from being trafficked. The Sound of Freedom is finally coming out because Angel Studios rescued it from being snuffed out by Disney. It was without a doubt one of the best movies I’veContinue reading “The Sound of Freedom, pt.2”

The Voice of Goddess

By Dr. Wayne Dyer In a mother’s womb were two babies. One asked the other: “Do you believe in life after delivery?” The other replied, “Why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later.” “Nonsense,” said the first. “There is noContinue reading “The Voice of Goddess”

Blatant Exposure/I Can Do All Things With Christ

(My first writing for this blog, as well as new entries) By Nicole Hilton Friday, July 13, 2018 I asked God once, Why oh why God did you give me such a need to expose myself, such blatant honesty…and this incessant need for recognition? He answered back, or at least I thought He did: IContinue reading “Blatant Exposure/I Can Do All Things With Christ”

Courage and Validation Pics and Quotes

By Nicole Marie Hilton, October 19th, 2022 “Everyone has the right to tell the truth about her own life.” ― Ellen Bass And these first six pictures mean the most to me about my life. I hope some of them will have meaning for you too. Please excuse the raw horror of this first one…it’sContinue reading “Courage and Validation Pics and Quotes”

Thomas S. Monson Vision and Others As Well

By Nicole Hilton, June 4th, 2018             Last night, after we had three sets of people from different central American countries over for dinner and I drove one of them home (D—I tried to help him also with his suicidal feelings), I still felt depressed as I sat downstairs in my rocking chair. Mom satContinue reading Thomas S. Monson Vision and Others As Well

For Those of Us With Suicidal Ideation in Psychosis

By Nicole Hilton, April 22nd, 2018 And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes, which is over against Galilee. And when he went forth to land, there met him out of the city a certain man, which had devils for a long time, and he wouldContinue reading “For Those of Us With Suicidal Ideation in Psychosis”

From the Dust: My Susa Young Gates Experience

By Nicole Marie Hilton, September 28th, 2016 On the 21st of September, 2016, I found myself leaning up against the face of a granite headstone, reading an old book whose spine was so broken and cracked with age I had been surprised to find it. But there it had been—nestled on a common shelf inContinue reading “From the Dust: My Susa Young Gates Experience”

The Sign of the Dove

By Nicole Hilton, April 23rd, 2018 to present             Today my heart is full. I started getting my spiritual gifts back today—mainly the gift of being able to ask any question (as inspired of the Lord) and having it be answered in the most miraculous ways. Sometimes it was the whispering of the spirit, sometimesContinue reading The Sign of the Dove

Unconditional Love and Hand Symbolism

By Nicole Hilton, June 5th, 2018             Today I woke up feeling empty and depressed. It’s a feeling extremely familiar to me, which always sets in after a wonderful spiritual experience. (Such as I had yesterday with President Monson visiting me.) I should have expected it…but I keep on hoping that one day I’m goingContinue reading Unconditional Love and Hand Symbolism

You Are The Reason

or the Dreamer by Nicole Marie Hilton, Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 I’m a dreamer. Always have been, Always will be. Ever since I was born, I can remember looking around and thinking, Oh–this life is amazing! And it can be even better! I can actually remember looking around and seeing only shining, beautiful possibility. So,Continue reading “You Are The Reason”

The Selfself God

By Nicole Marie Hilton Friday, April 20, 2018             I was sitting in the St. George temple baptistry recently, looking at a painting of Christ. He’s kneeling by a little boy and smiling at him with the kindest expression. The little boy is holding Christ’s hand and trusts him.             It struck me that God’sContinue reading The Selfself God

Miracle on Top of the World, or Ascension, or Chosen

By Nicole Marie Hilton, on September 9, 2022 Have you ever felt like your heart is yearning for something so badly that it might burst out of your chest and make a mess of everything in your life? I have. My entire existence. I used to play the three piano pieces you just listened to—especiallyContinue reading “Miracle on Top of the World, or Ascension, or Chosen”

What Doth it Profit a Man? or Dadders in The Desert, or Joseph’s Journey

By Nicole Marie Hilton, September 8th, 2022 So, we (my mom, dad, and I) are currently watching Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, at Tuachan—just outside of St. George, Utah, even as I write this. I’m sitting next to my dad up on the top level in my wheelchair. It may seem on the outsideContinue reading “What Doth it Profit a Man? or Dadders in The Desert, or Joseph’s Journey”

Following the Spirit through Service to Jesus Christ

Nicole Marie Hilton Sacrament Meeting Talk (with added media) February 9th, 2020 Thank you to JJ Brown and John Pontius for help with this talk (Very long one minute pause)             Are you getting annoyed that I kept you waiting for a minute? Imagine how your ancestors feel who have been waiting for the blessingsContinue reading Following the Spirit through Service to Jesus Christ

Martha’s Primary Mistake

or How To Be Cinderella By Nicole Marie Hilton Thurs. April 28th, April 29th, Aug 31st, Sept. 8th 2022 I have been learning about Martha from the New Testament, and how to become a Mary. I’ve just watched Disney’s Cinderella (the live action version)–and Cinderella’s two stepsisters definitely fit the bill of being Marthas! (Although,Continue reading Martha’s Primary Mistake

Dysfunction and Assimilation

By Nicole Marie Hilton, a certain date to Monday, August 29th, 2022 I’m writing this at the outside table, surrounded by two of my brothers and their families, as well as my parents. The most stimulating comments range from, “which cow are we eating?” to, “please pass the salad,” and everyone is sweeping sweeping sweepingContinue reading “Dysfunction and Assimilation”

Keep Your Pearls Close

By Nicole M. Hilton Sunday July 10th, 2022 There are subjects too dark or too sacred for others to handle. People who haven’t been exposed to a crystal meth addiction, for instance, could become uncomfortable talking about it—even for five minutes—and would say that the “spirit left” as soon as the person started to tellContinue reading “Keep Your Pearls Close”

It’s About Him

I asked myself just now—writhing in hellish nerve pain that has traveled up to the middle of my thighs because of John Ellis’s healing water: what am I supposed to learn from all of this???!!?!?!!?!!!?!!? Then I remembered the answer what’s-his-face taught me—if you haven’t healed from something…it’s because it’s serving a FUNCTION in yourContinue reading “It’s About Him”

My Leap into Heaven

My suicide attempt was not an escape from my earthly mission, and I paid a terrible price for going through with it. I did receive comfort and healing in Heaven but I knew my eternal healing and role were for this earth. So much so that I chose to come back into a broken and diminished body to fulfill it.

Sex Trafficking & “The Sound of Freedom”

My boyfriend and I were invited to Las Vegas for a private screening of Sound of Freedom, an absolutely brilliant film which tells the TRUE story of one of Tim Ballard’s most heroic and adventurous rescue missions.

Life’s Worth Living Podcast

Nicole was invited as a guest on Jon Gossett’s “Life’s Worth Living” podcast series to talk about her suicide attempt. She gives details about her visit to the other side of the veil and the love and hope she found there.

There Were Miracles!

This is a play-by-play after my leap off of Webb Hill in St. George, Utah. It’s a compilation of posts by my mother and boyfriend on social media from the day after my suicide attempt until my first week home from the hospital 3 months later.

A Mother’s View

Loved ones suffer alongside the survivors of trauma and abuse and in some ways can be co-victims. Often, parents are innocent bystanders who feel powerless to help or even understand their struggling child.

JJ’s Thoughts on Mental Health and Suicide

My summary does not tell the whole story, but it tells a part of the story the medical community is not equipped to explain.

Hold On

Where was He!? How could He let that happen to me!? My logical conclusion—confirmed by terrible, real-life experience—was that I’m not worth His attention, that He doesn’t actually care about me, or that He does not exist. But I knew He was there, and this knowing rounded out my feelings of bitterness, gloom, and abandonment.