This is a play-by-play after my leap off of Webb Hill in St. George, Utah. It’s a compilation of posts by my mother and boyfriend on social media from the day after my suicide attempt until my first week home from the hospital 3 months later.
Tag Archives: Satanic Ritual Abuse
JJ’s Thoughts on Mental Health and Suicide
My summary does not tell the whole story, but it tells a part of the story the medical community is not equipped to explain.
The Patronus
For survivors, hope must be rediscovered, empowerment must be relearned, self-worth replanted, and the Light reached for against a current of despair.
The Mire
Survivors may struggle to accept and find meaning in a more stable, peaceful life.
Mary Magdalene’s Strength
What follows was written by my boyfriend. His insights into Mary Magdalene’s life and trials give me hope. They also give me hope in Jesus Christ.
A Quiet Mind
It may require new training to feel comfortable and at home with a quiet, peaceful mind.
Do You Want Karaoke, or Karaoke?
Discerning between Light and dark voices makes the difference between happiness and misery. The fruit of the Spirit of God brings joy and progress, but the fruit of darkness is misery and deterioration.
Do You Want Sushi, or Sushi?
Three types of voices compete for our thoughts: promptings from the Light, confusion and deception from the opposition, and our own voice. Promptings from the Light gently lead us toward greater freedom, peace, and joy.
The Process and the Promises
In order to fully heal, it is important to understand that there is a purpose in what we’ve gone through and that God, rather than abandoning us, has been supporting our life plan.
Dissociating from Love
DID isolates each part of the victim that’s been hurt. These parts can distrust and even hate one another. They have different priorities and memories, and it is all arranged to produce stark, unsettled isolation.
Floating on Feathers
With great trials come tender mercies. They remind us that we are not forgotten after all.
A Wake-up Call
Temptations will come whether we invite them or not. But each time we reject a temptation we hand the dark side a defeat, and we strengthen the light side of our coin.
Hell HQ
with Christ, our greatest trials can be made into our greatest strengths, and Satan’s greatest victims can be transformed into his most powerful foes.
Two Sides to a Coin
Heaven will often balance their trauma with extraordinary visions and manifestations from the Light. Anything a survivor might share about either type of experience is rarely believed by loved ones, therapists, or even their clergy.
Rocking Chairs and God
Not much good comes from comparing ourselves to others. We are either lifting ourselves above another to feel “better,” or demeaning ourselves below another to feel that we are not enough.
Meeting Jesus Christ and the Universe
If Christ is real, then there is hope. By overcoming evil and all sin, Christ saved us. Whether on Earth, after death in the Spirit World, or during the Millennium we will all have a chance to accept this free gift, which includes forgiveness, cleansing, healing, and restoration into God’s presence. It’s free, and it’s a package deal. But we must CHOOSE it and BELIEVE Him. I have reason to believe.
Shame Begets Shame: My Babysitting Experience
The dark side is adept at twisting humility into self-loathing and shame. They shame us after hurting us, they urge us to make missteps and then shame us when we do.
The Unseen Battle
Not much good comes from comparing ourselves to others. We are either lifting ourselves above another to feel “better,” or demeaning ourselves below another to feel that we are not enough.
God Loves Broken Things, Pt 3
We each chose to follow Mother Eve into Satan’s fallen, painful world. We knew for a time we would forget our true selves and be captive to pain and possible abuse. Why would we chose this? Why would God allow it?
God Loves Broken Things, Pt 2
In our extremes we are often in a better position to give God our full focus and attention. The combination of being alert and humble allows Him to upgrade our lives and rewrite our truths if we will permit it.
God Loves Broken Things, Pt 1
As the dark side abuses its victims, it also teaches them to harm and abuse themselves. It then rewards self-harm with mockery and shaming. At a certain point a perpetrator is no longer required, because the victim will self-perpetuate the abuse cycle with self-harm.
Joy in the Darkness
Going into your school years as a trauma victim can make you feel like raw meat thrown into a lion’s den. It strongly reinforced my programming that I was broken and alone.
Why Don’t You Like Me?
The dark side uses traumatic abuse to shatter our spirit and destroy our self-worth. Once broken, we are taught a barrage of emotions and behavioral responses intended to reinforce the victim’s spiral into social isolation and self-loathing.
Seeker Catches the Snitch
When we become so lost and alone that we seem out of reach of any comfort or assistance, God has a way of showing us that not only can He reach us, but that He knows us better than we know ourselves.
How to Commit Suicide in 4th Grade
Satanic programming isolates its victim and fills the mind with self-loathing, pain, and hopelessness, all the while keeping the source of trauma hidden. The only hope left to the victim is a hope for an end to the lonely life of suffering and misery.
Tear Stains on My Pillow
After the Incident, I was broken. I began a lifetime of stuffing down my pain while trying to pretend everything was “normal”. It wasn’t always possible to keep up the charade.
The Incident
DID/SRA victims often begin to recover their lost traumatic memories around the age of 30. It can be very painful, but it can also be the beginning of healing. This is how it began for me.
Spiritual Satanic Ritual Abuse
Ritual Abuse can occur spiritually as well as physically. In either case, the victim is broken and programmed with destructive, life-shattering emotional and behavioral patterns.
Healing with Christ 