Hell HQ

By Nicole Hilton, Friday August 30th, 2019

In one way or another we are subject to Satan’s abuse. But with Christ, our greatest trials can be made into our greatest strengths, and Satan’s greatest victims can be transformed into his most powerful foes. In such cases, Satan may be forced to acknowledge his own hand in our new strength and power.

            You’d think that the headquarters of hell would be wreathed in flames, and that it would have a dungeon-like atmosphere, complete with moldering bones in every corner.

            That’s not the case. Hell HQ is a non-descript one-level building in a rural area, just off the highway, surrounded by farmland right here in America.

            Well, at least, that is what I saw in my dream as I made straight for the glass entrance, followed by my dad—who was apparently along for the ride.

            I experienced this dream from two points of view. There was the first-person view—looking through my own eyes and being an actor in the scenes that unfolded. Then there was the third person point of view—where I watched the scenes unfolding from above my body. The former view came with surety and strength—a complete knowledge of how to break into hell, what my mission was, and how to get back out as quickly as necessary. Sadly, I did not retain this point of view after the mission.

            And the latter view, where I was watching from above? Well, I was both afraid and fascinated to see all this play out. It’s not everyday you see yourself—like in an action movie—break into the headquarters of the biggest baddies in the galaxy.

            And of course, like any movie, it was obviously essential to take on the hordes of hell with so much style and grace that a unicorn would be proud. I was wearing a simple, elegant long white dress, with sleeves to my wrists. It wasn’t woven by human hands, but by someone more Heavenly. While long, it wasn’t hot or constricting, and it provided all the movement I needed—even if I were to run or jump, it adjusted itself to every situation according to my needs. My hair and body were the same I had seen in two other visions—I was trim, lithe, and had glossy chestnut blonde hair with highlights throughout the ends. My hair fell below my shoulders in beautiful waves and seemed alive with every move I made. My skin was polished and glowing with a warmth I’ve never seen the earthy likes of before. This was a dream, after all.

            So, I both watched and participated as this heavenly version of myself pushed through two sets of glass doors, opening them Aragorn-style with a dramatic flourish.  Though I had just entered the headquarters of hell, I stood there in majesty—completely and utterly without fear.

            Everything was nondescript. Drab shades of grey were on the walls, there were chairs in the sitting area, and the floor was a murky color. There were hallways off to the right and left, and a tall counter in the front with what looked like a secretary sitting behind it. As I walked in, my hair fanning around my shoulders, she froze—in shock for a moment.

            I ignored the secretary and walked on past the reception area to the hallway to the left, my shoulders back, head held high, the white dress swishing around the corner after me. I apparently knew right where I was going.

            Overcoming her shock, the woman at the reception desk stood up with a panicked look on her face and quickly pressed an alarm—alerting everyone to my presence. She then ducked underneath her desk.

            There were about twenty doors on either side of the hallway. These doors led into classrooms and workrooms. I knew this because at the alarm, every single door flew wide open, and the occupants leaned out to see what was going on.

            I strode down the hallway like a queen on a mission, ignoring all their stares. My dad followed me.

            Many of the people recognized me, and there was screaming, which spread like fire. Some yelled out directions to each other, some darted in front of me to go down other hallways, and others retreated to duck under their desks. A few paired up and talked hurriedly—trying to come up with a plan of action. The entire building was in an uproar.

            But, as I walked forward, no one dared apprehend me or my Dad. They were running like frightened mice.  

            Watching this from above was thrilling. As I watched the reactions of the entire building my confidence in myself grew. 

            From the point of view of the upgraded me who was causing all this ruckus, I remember I felt calm, assured, and unafraid as I reached the end of the hallway. The whole building could have been burning down and hordes of hellish demons attacking me and I would have maintained my calm.

            I just felt sorry for all these people.

            And I had a mission.

            The third-person Nicole couldn’t wait to find out what that mission was. This was awfully exciting! I wondered what else was up my sleeve.

            As I came around the corner, I spotted the door—the room where it was.

            I marched toward the door and found it was unlocked. I motioned for my dad to stay in the hallway. He was speechless at everything that had happened so far, and he was not sure what would happen next.

            From above, I waited in anticipation, watching myself in awe.

            I opened the door.

            He was leaning over a map on his desk and was mid-sentence when I walked in—a pleasant man to look upon, if you went by his features alone. He had dark hair, and was wearing a simple suit—the jacket removed—with no frills or accouterments whatsoever. About 20 generals, all male, were seated in long rows at their own desks along either side of an aisle, which ran directly to his desk and blackboard at the front of the room. Most were dressed in varying shades of brown. There was something militaristic about their appearances—which ranged from uniforms pinned with gaudy medals to simple button-up shirts and ties. Everyone looked to be well-groomed and between the ages of 30 and 50. They all had various papers, notes, and writing utensils in front of them. They seemed to be planning something big—an attack of some sort.

The actor Tom Ellis, who plays Lucifer in the series of the same name on FOX looks strikingly like the man I saw–I found out about this actor and this series only after I had this dream

            “__________…” he said. He looked up at me with a grin, his head cocked mockingly to the side. He was holding a pen.

            “Lucifer,” I said, with seeming cordiality.

            From above, I was shocked at the name Lucifer had called me—but there was an inner knowing deep inside me that it was my eternal name.

            Lucifer stood up, rolled his shoulders back, and threw the pen on his desk—right on top of a stack of papers—which I took note of. He grinned at me again. His teeth were very white. “We have no need of your…services…today. How about you come back tomorrow?”

            “Tomorrow, I’m on holiday,” I said.

            Let us pause here to reflect on the two versions of myself. One was standing there in pure white, honey-colored hair rippling around her collar bones, posed like a warrior princess, facing down the smartest, most powerful, vile, destructive, and hardworking devils in all of remembered history…and the other me was above, body-less, freaking out. I was beside myself! Or, above myself—take your pick.

            First of all, Lucifer knew me, he recognized me immediately. He even seemed to know me intimately in times past.

            Secondly, at Lucifer’s taunt, fear struck me to the heart. I wondered, how can I be standing there, so unafraid? I’m petrified with fear!!! And why am I joking at a time like this?! Every instinct told me to run! Get away! The room felt like facing a thousand dementors.

            Back on the ground, I watched as a general in the front row of the classroom turned with the rest of them. He saw me and smirked. “Ah…it’s been awhile. Are you back for more? Couldn’t keep away? You always were such fun to play with.” The rest of the generals elbowed each other and some of the men chortled as they recalled my past abuse. Visions of what he wanted to do to me assaulted my mind.

            I waved away the thoughts like they were flies.

            At this, all of the generals started yelling things out to me without effect, then changed tactics and sent disturbing messages and visions to me about my loved ones. They tried to get me angry by how nonchalant they could be about the most evil things. They taunted me about what they had done to children and to everything I ever cared about.

            The evil in this room increased tenfold and was overpowering to my point of view from above. I was terrified and couldn’t see how the terrestrial Nicole could get out of this one.

            I stood there in that classroom, my eyes like green flint. It was so easy. I could pierce through them all—I could hear the fear underneath their words like a current that would sweep them away. I couldn’t be hurt by them anymore.

            I smiled, as if to say, “Are you finished?”

            After that, every general raised both of his hands before him—like something out of Avatar the Last Airbender—and started to bend evil forces and channel them toward me.

            They had incredible power. Each of them felt like they could topple whole cities with this power.

            In response, I raised both of my hands in front of me, palms out, stepping forward with one foot into a warrior stance. I felt all their energy coming at me like waves of a tsunami. I sensed Lucifer, standing with his hands in his pockets by the blackboard—so assured that I was about to be done for.

            I blocked their energy with a shield of light. All the evil flowed around me and charred the building, warping and twisting rebar.

            I had a look of intense concentration on my face, resolute and set to complete the task before me. I knew in Whom I trusted.

            I moved my left hand quickly to the side, like I was parting a wave. Ten generals were thrown with amazing violence straight into the wall, breaking the wall in some places. No one could even flutter their eyelids after they fell to the floor and over the desks. And (like any action movie), it didn’t matter how hard I fought “the bad guys”—my hair flew about my face dramatic-style, but then always settled back into wavy perfection, of course.

            I turned my head to the right, and my eyes blazed like lightening. At this, the generals on the right side of the room split into two groups—one group tried to hold their power on me, with increasing terror in their eyes, and the other group turned and tried to run, stumbling over desks and chairs while they screamed. I stepped closer to them and moved both my palms forward towards them, pushing light-force at their terrified faces.

            They were all knocked out. Bodies and desk parts were scattered across the floor into the corners. Exposed cinder block had melted with the fervent heat I had channeled from God’s Throne. Some generals were even thrown through the roof. The entire classroom looked like one of the school shootings one of these generals had arranged…but it was he who was on the floor now.

            Lucifer…he wasn’t too happy. While I was staring in shock from above, my terrestrial self strode forward down the messy aisle, stepping over bodies in the wake of the battle. I stopped halfway to Lucifer’s desk.

            He wasn’t laughing or smiling now. He had a look of utter consternation on his face.

            He raised his hands, palms outward towards me.

            I did the same.

            A huge force of darkness burst toward me. I fought back—and we channeled our two forces—good versus evil—towards each other at full power. I remember thinking that it wasn’t all fun and games anymore. This man—this Satan—before me was more than all those generals combined. The utter force of power and darkness rushing towards me could wrap the entire world in darkness. I felt like Harry Potter facing Voldemort when their two wands were crossed, or like Luke facing Vader. I felt like all the heroes facing their ultimate battle with evil.

            Because I felt Heaven’s power, we were evenly matched. The forces met each other in the center and the energy billowed out in waves into the classroom. I gritted my teeth, and my arms were shaking. But his were, too. He yelled and grunted but increased his exertions and kept on pushing the darkness towards me.

            I shut my eyes in my effort to keep the onslaught from consuming me. Then, I realized something. We were evenly matched when this began. But I had the ability to grow spiritually. While God’s powers were increasing, Satan’s powers were decreasing. I was waxing, while he was waning. And exactly how had I improved so much?

            It was as though I heard a voice say…because of his efforts against you, you are growing all the more.

            I opened my eyes, and with this knowledge came more power than I had ever had before. I felt it within me—I was stronger than I’d ever been. With a yell I stepped forward and thrust my hands with an incredible ball of light towards Lucifer.

            I saw the shocked look in his face in a split second, right before it hit him. I could read his thoughts: Why? How? How could she come so far? How can she do this?

            Then the mixture of light and his own darkness hit him, and he flew backward and hit the blackboard, cracking it in half.

            From above, I was shocked at what I’d seen. Then I realized something…because Lucifer’s power could no longer take hold in me, it rebounded onto him—causing double destruction upon himself.

            My terrestrial self walked down the aisle, grabbed up a paper that had been on Lucifer’s desk, and looked at it briefly. I saw that it was a map. I don’t know what this map was, or who it helped. But it seemed to be a key in heaven’s plans.

            The door behind me was hanging off its hinges. My dad was in the hallway, and like we had come, we left—walking down the hallway like I owned the place, people running and screaming and just panicked in general. Energetically, the entire building and all its power were crumbling around us, and all the people were acting like crazed ants whose queen had died—completely without leadership or power to do anything but to be consumed by fear.

            The dream ended with my Dad and I walking out of those double doors—the secretary nowhere in sight.

            I lost most of the knowledge I had had as the terrestrial version of myself, but retained everything I had seen and learned as I watched the events play out from above.

Not Today, Satan!

            Halfway through writing Hell HQ, I was due at the park for a playdate with my friend, her grandson, and my dogs. I was loathe to leave off writing something so dramatic, but I forced myself to leave it halfway done and meet her as we had planned.

            We had a great time at the park. After about an hour, I felt that I should leave quickly to go home—and I knew it had something to do with what I’d written. I felt an awareness of the dark side…like they knew what I had been writing. And they didn’t like it.

             I gave my friend an excuse and said goodbye, and I walked in the direction of my car.

            I had parked my car in an unusual place where I never park it—on the shoulder of the busy Fort Pierce road, which cuts in between the larger park and the smaller park with the tennis courts.

            I was walking through the large park towards my car, but her grandson had run after me, and this caused some delay, as I walked with her a little more, but then abruptly left her to get to my car and leave.

            At the car, which was parked in the dirt behind a trailer in front of someone’s house, I tried to clean up my dogs as best I could. They were so dirty that I gave up and did something else I hadn’t done before—I shoved them into the back of the car, where they could barely fit. I got into the car quickly, turned it around, and left for home.

            Right when I got home, my friend called me and was in a panic. “Nicole! Nicole! Are you alright? Oh my goodness I thought you’d been in the wreck! Were you in the wreck?”

            I tried to calm her down and get her to start from the beginning, after I assured her I was safe. A story unfolded—apparently right when I left in my car and was out of sight, a woman was going more than 60 mph around the curve and crashed right into the back of the trailer on the side of the rode—right where I’d been parked. Exactly where I’d been standing mere seconds before.

            The noise was so loud, neighbors from all the surrounding houses and all the people in the parks gathered. There was a huge cloud of dust. The police were called, and no one was injured. But the woman…well people couldn’t tell what was wrong with her, or why she didn’t stay on the road. Later, in her questioning, she said that she “thought that was where the road was.”

            My friend said it was as though she were crazed—not in her right mind. When they released her and her damaged car, she drove away just as fast, apparently forgot where she’d been going, made a U-turn, and drove back home.

            I have yet to find out who this woman was, or why she got into such a terrible wreck—right where I had been standing, trying to get my dogs into the car.

            But I have my suspicions.

Published by Nicole Marie Hilton

Hi, I'm Nicole. I suffer from amnesia and multiple personalities caused by childhood trauma and a gauntlet of spiritual Satanic abuse. Professionals refer to this as Dissociative Identity Disorder and Satanic Ritual Abuse (DID/SRA). The wounds and evil programming from DID/SRA create a continuing cycle of spiritual, emotional, mental, and social destruction for the victim and their loved ones. Most professional therapists misdiagnose or misunderstand it and do more harm than good. Healing requires plunging the very depths of Christ's atonement for the victims and their loved ones. The process exposes Satan's methods and Christ's power, and this knowledge is essential to anyone seeking to ascend above this mortality. This is the story of my wounding and my ongoing healing with my Savior Jesus Christ.

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