This is a play-by-play after my leap off of Webb Hill in St. George, Utah. It’s a compilation of posts by my mother and boyfriend on social media from the day after my suicide attempt until my first week home from the hospital 3 months later.
Tag Archives: Multiple Personalities
A Mother’s View
Loved ones suffer alongside the survivors of trauma and abuse and in some ways can be co-victims. Often, parents are innocent bystanders who feel powerless to help or even understand their struggling child.
The 7 Steps of Healing with DID
Each step can be messy, but this outline helps me recognize that messiness can actually be evidence of healing.
The Patronus
For survivors, hope must be rediscovered, empowerment must be relearned, self-worth replanted, and the Light reached for against a current of despair.
The Fortress in My Mind
When the dark side arranges the unimaginable against the most innocent, the mind wipe and compartmentalization of the event become a harsh but necessary blessing.
A Quiet Mind
It may require new training to feel comfortable and at home with a quiet, peaceful mind.
Do You Want Sushi, or Sushi?
Three types of voices compete for our thoughts: promptings from the Light, confusion and deception from the opposition, and our own voice. Promptings from the Light gently lead us toward greater freedom, peace, and joy.
The Process and the Promises
In order to fully heal, it is important to understand that there is a purpose in what we’ve gone through and that God, rather than abandoning us, has been supporting our life plan.
Dissociating from Love
DID isolates each part of the victim that’s been hurt. These parts can distrust and even hate one another. They have different priorities and memories, and it is all arranged to produce stark, unsettled isolation.
Floating on Feathers
With great trials come tender mercies. They remind us that we are not forgotten after all.
A Wake-up Call
Temptations will come whether we invite them or not. But each time we reject a temptation we hand the dark side a defeat, and we strengthen the light side of our coin.
Hell HQ
with Christ, our greatest trials can be made into our greatest strengths, and Satan’s greatest victims can be transformed into his most powerful foes.
Two Sides to a Coin
Heaven will often balance their trauma with extraordinary visions and manifestations from the Light. Anything a survivor might share about either type of experience is rarely believed by loved ones, therapists, or even their clergy.
Rocking Chairs and God
Not much good comes from comparing ourselves to others. We are either lifting ourselves above another to feel “better,” or demeaning ourselves below another to feel that we are not enough.
Meeting Jesus Christ and the Universe
If Christ is real, then there is hope. By overcoming evil and all sin, Christ saved us. Whether on Earth, after death in the Spirit World, or during the Millennium we will all have a chance to accept this free gift, which includes forgiveness, cleansing, healing, and restoration into God’s presence. It’s free, and it’s a package deal. But we must CHOOSE it and BELIEVE Him. I have reason to believe.
Shame Begets Shame: My Babysitting Experience
The dark side is adept at twisting humility into self-loathing and shame. They shame us after hurting us, they urge us to make missteps and then shame us when we do.
Lessons From My Thumb
Opposition. Knowing we came to earth to experience it doesn’t provide much solace when we’re confronting it.
The Unseen Battle
Not much good comes from comparing ourselves to others. We are either lifting ourselves above another to feel “better,” or demeaning ourselves below another to feel that we are not enough.
The Abrahamic Trial, pt 3: Freedom in the Fishbowl
I heard two men outside of the padded cell. One fiddled with some keys, the lock clicked, and the large metal door swung open.
How to Commit Suicide in 4th Grade
Satanic programming isolates its victim and fills the mind with self-loathing, pain, and hopelessness, all the while keeping the source of trauma hidden. The only hope left to the victim is a hope for an end to the lonely life of suffering and misery.
Tear Stains on My Pillow
After the Incident, I was broken. I began a lifetime of stuffing down my pain while trying to pretend everything was “normal”. It wasn’t always possible to keep up the charade.
The Incident
DID/SRA victims often begin to recover their lost traumatic memories around the age of 30. It can be very painful, but it can also be the beginning of healing. This is how it began for me.
Healing with Christ 