My Testimony

By Nicole Marie Hilton

The one day since I had entered the temple I decided not to wear my garments, I quit Ubering around Salt Lake City long enough to stop in a field and cry out to God.

“Why aren’t you there for me?!” I screamed to the long grass.

I thought I was alone.

I was wrong.

This seemingly random HUGE truck pulls up behind me, I turn around as a guy leans out of his window and looks me straight in the eye and yells at me, quite forcefully, “DON’T FORGET YOUR PROTECTION!!”

I drove home very, very carefully that day and put my garments back on.

The man was either, a. A madman following the Spirit or, b. A translated being with a penchant for huge trucks. Yep, there’s no other option in my head.

I’ve thought a lot about regrets since then. Let me tell you a few of them…

I’ve regretted spending time memorizing Monty Python but I’ve never regretted memorizing the scriptures,

I’ve regretted going to a Britney Spears concert but I’ve never regretted going to a Lauren Daigle concert,

I’ve regretted thinking I know it all but I’ve never regretted asking for The Spirit to teach me,

I’ve regretted texting people but I’ve never regretted receiving messages from God,

I’ve regretted spending hours on YouTube but I’ve never regretted spending hours studying conference talks.

I’ve regretted spending time on makeup tutorials but I’ve never regretted being creative towards growth.

I’ve regretted playing video games but I’ve never regretted spending time with the elderly.

I’ve regretted being so nice I lose touch with who I want to be around but I’ve never regretted being wise and kind.

I’ve regretted giving into anxiety and fear but I’ve never regretted increasing my faith and trust in Him.

I’ve regretted hatred for my weaknesses but I’ve never regretted gladness for what my Savior has done for me.

I’ve realized that Gratitude to God, integrity, surrendering, and flowing in the deep wisdom from your Heart is the way to heaven.

I’ve regretted giving into addictions but I’ve never regretted having self control.

I’ve never regretted one minute of sincere prayer but I have regretted letting my mind complain about my circumstances.

I’ve regretted putting off that still small voice for even one second but I’ve never regretted doing exactly what He bids me.

I’ve regretted resenting and then hating God but I’ve never regretted trusting Him with all my heart.

What use is the information on the internet or more quotes from Pinterest if I haven’t already heeded what I’ve already received in personal revelation, the scriptures, coda and AA meetings, and conference?

I’ve realized that radical acceptance is the only way out of hell. Accepting reality means freedom from suffering and freedom from suffering requires acknowledging what is. To accept something is not the same as judging it as good. But it does mean access to God’s help and love.

He is real. He is coming. We must be prepared to meet Him—seeking His face even beforehand, and the day will come that you see Him and know that He is the life and the light of the world. And in Him is all healing from pain, anxiety, anger, and fear.

I’ve realized that being physically Broken means letting the spiritual light in if you choose to accept it.

He holds me sometimes at night and whispers love into my heart, and that is the only healing I’ll ever need in this mortality.

I know that to give into fear is never a good idea unless you fear God and what might happen if you don’t repent daily and listen to the still small voice.

Tend towards hope in your mind and seek His touch, His sight, and His voice and He’ll be there.

Here’s to living life without regrets and with more faith.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.