By Nicole Marie Hilton, December 6, 2019
Very young victims of spiritual and physical abuse often split in order to protect the child from unbearable and unimaginable pain and suffering. This makes life livable for them, if only barely. As they grow older, often around the age of 30, The repressed pain can come back as a “body memory,” and the pain can resurface at the location on the body where it was experienced.
I can’t remember the specific date this occurred—somewhere between 2012-2014. I was walking out of my room in the basement of my parent’s house (again—where so many of these things happened). All of a sudden, a scraping sensation started at the bottom of my feet and traveled slowly up my legs. I collapsed on the ground and started screaming. Soon, the sensation overcame my entire body.
It felt like someone was physically peeling my skin off with a knife. I looked down at my body as I writhed in pain, and there was no blood—no swelling or redness of any kind. I screamed and arched my back as a fresh onslaught of cuts rippled across my shoulders, my face, and my back. I was being skinned alive, and there was no proof of my agony…and I didn’t know why I was subject to it.
It’s not pleasant to write about this. I’m realizing just how many times I experienced so many of the types of torture and pain the human body can go through, to its maximum capacity, almost to the breaking point of death. This was one of those times.
For three hours, I screamed a prayer to rebuke the evil source of the torture. I attempted to raise my arm to the square but could hardly succeed, because more waves of pain racked my body. My mom was beside herself, and had no idea how to help me or what to do. She kept on saying, “Just cast out! It’s Satan!” I kept on screaming back, “I know it’s Satan! And JUST CASTING OUT ISN’T WORKING!!”
After this was over, I named it a dragon attack—and I would take what I called my Atonement Attacks over it any day. My Atonement Attacks I’ve always believed had a purpose. They were cleansing and refining. This, though…this was just pure torment. As if someone on the other side of the veil had set their pet dragon on me, just so they could be entertained while he licked me over and over with his barbed tongue.
Since then, I’ve learned this was very likely a body memory of previous torture done to me—probably through a Satanic spiritual attack. The time had come where I was ready to process it. I felt everything as though it were happening in real time. Jesus Christ protected me from the visual memory coming back, but I believe the physical memory had to be felt in order for it to be identified and then healed.