Story of an SRA ring in Salt Lake City where I grew up until I was seven in Downtown SLC. I believe I was targeted and attacked on multiple fronts…because Satan knows EXACTLY who you are and how much darkness you’ll need to be squelched forever. I believe I was attacked in at least five different areas—could be more once ALL my memories come back: 1. At the U of U hospital in SLC in the daycare center 2. Spiritually 3. At an old church in SLC 4. By at least 2 relatives 5. Right off the playground in St. George, Utah (below)
This is where I went in vision after praying for six months to know what had happened to me in second grade, soon after we had moved from SLC. I entered a vision where, following young Nollie, I saw myself going around the corner of the building and a man grabbed me and did a satanic ritual on me right in that corner. It only took five minutes to shatter my entire existence. And then I pan to where I jumped and tried to commit suicide at age 32 all those years later.This guy is a friggin’ Genius.
This was extremely agitated Question and Nicole co-fronting
Nollie is out and not faking it and filming because JJ makes her feel safe. Notice how he plays with her and doesn’t want to change her into being something she’s not?
Here’s Nollie…because she felt safe enough, it was okay to not fake it on camera
And as an intermission (from all the Nollies) here’s the best video I’ve found on the internet explaining DID:
This is Nollie trying to act like Nicole in front of my best friend, Ashlie.
This is Nollie
This is Nollie trying to look and sound like a grownup
Nollie…again. Able to laugh when she falls! Yet my family still didn’t recognize how my voice had changed to a younger version of me for a couple years.Strong bad is HILARIOUS….here’s what I identify as Paris/Marie, Nicole, and Question (Left to Right)
This is a blend of all of us! Which is the ultimate goal 🥅 …my family still doesn’t recognize the absolute triumph of me pulling this off—or anyone pulling that off without dying (and staying dead). I seriously felt like I’d won the Nobel Prize earlier this year when I realized I hadn’t switched for a couple months and when I also realized that I not only had memories from all of my parts (save the floaty-offy parts that are not part of my system), but that we were a (granted) less-than-harmonious harmonious blend of one personality…albeit a depressed one. But hey, at least I’m not trying to maim or cut or kill myself anymore. And this is being around a family who doesn’t recognize just how amazing this is and who constantly look down on me for becoming “more depressed now that she’s in a wheelchair.” Pshaw!! I’m not more depressed because of that as much as because I’ve assimilated all of the Why’s! This triumph was only celebrated by Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, JJ, and I. Now, it’s time to conquer the muddy Nicole I’ve become and become all bright and fun again! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤩💔🥰😭
I’m so grateful to Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ for forcing me to stay here so many times…through a bevy of random flashback memories: crying and not being able to pee in front of the guards in jail, racing out to the Arizona border to hit an old car with boards and scream, exposing myself to almost being raped in Jamaica and in Utah, cutting myself with a wire and eating an entire batch of cookie dough (plus a subway sandwich, two hotdogs, a protein bar, a yoghurt, a doughnut, and a brownie) and then throwing it all up, memorizing the movie Groundhog Day when I was 12 because it reminded me of myself, spending all my money on things I didn’t need so I felt sufficiently numb, making out with 3 guys a night at BYU, laughing so hard I’d pass out with roommates, weeping over so much heartbreak I wouldn’t be able to describe it adequately in a million years, to working out a system of communication with my boyfriend through blinking, to all of the burns and broken bones, to being bullied incessantly growing up, to every time I felt at least 5% false when bearing my testimony, having to overcome major satanic tendencies and feelings—including a propensity for murder—to making all my homeless friends frustrated, to yelling at my first husband to stop making me laugh because I’d just broken my back the first time, to overcoming same-sex attraction, to standing in front of classmates at BYU with them cheering, to working in more than 30 different jobs, to turning the last page of Harry Potter, to the deterioration of my body despite doing EVERYTHING I can to prevent it….to seeing myself through Jesus Christ’s eyes during the Millennium and fainting out of the vision because of joy.
I’ve survived it all.
And I’m glad. It’s been bipolar 17,000,000,000,000 ways from Sunday, but I’m glad.
Hi, I'm Nicole.
I suffer from amnesia and multiple personalities caused by childhood trauma and a gauntlet of spiritual Satanic abuse. Professionals refer to this as Dissociative Identity Disorder and Satanic Ritual Abuse (DID/SRA). The wounds and evil programming from DID/SRA create a continuing cycle of spiritual, emotional, mental, and social destruction for the victim and their loved ones.
Most professional therapists misdiagnose or misunderstand it and do more harm than good. Healing requires plunging the very depths of Christ's atonement for the victims and their loved ones. The process exposes Satan's methods and Christ's power, and this knowledge is essential to anyone seeking to ascend above this mortality.
This is the story of my wounding and my ongoing healing with my Savior Jesus Christ.
View more posts
Healing with Christ 