December 16th, 2023
Wow.
This entry deserves a run-on sentence.
After I (one of the darker personalities of Nicole) humbled myself and gave everything—my whole life—up to God…I had the most spiritual, amazing, beautiful, awe-inspiring, ongoing experience that still makes me cry when I think about what has happened and is happening and will happen for the future.
So if you’re doubting whether to give God everything, trust me…it’s more than worth it. He will then give you more of what you really want.
Nephi wrote that we must, “Worship Him with all your might, mind, and strength” 2 Ne. 25:29. I finally did this, by devoting two hours of prayer time per day, and it was soon after that this spiritual experience transcended anything I’ve thought of or wondered or supposed.
D&C 76 says:
5 For thus saith the Lord—I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end.
6 Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory.
7 And to them will I reveal all mysteries, yea, all the hidden mysteries of my kingdom from days of old, and for ages to come, will I make known unto them the good pleasure of my will concerning all things pertaining to my kingdom.
8 Yea, even the wonders of eternity shall they know, and things to come will I show them, even the things of many generations.
9 And their wisdom shall be great, and their understanding reach to heaven; and before them the wisdom of the wise shall perish, and the understanding of the prudent shall come to naught.
10 For by my Spirit will I enlighten them, and by my power will I make known unto them the secrets of my will—yea, even those things which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man.
Satan has lurked nearby, of course.
He always will attack you, right after your spiritual high, in any way his sorry little mind can conceive. And if he can’t get to you personally because you are doing all the right things, he’ll resort to inspiring others to attack you and throw major doubts into the mix.
He will even attack you with 99% truth. But it’s that little dark seed—that 1% lie—that he’s most concerned about planting in your soul…and if it takes root, Satan will nurture it until it grows and grows by the day.
The key is continual prayer all day. If you’re not praying (like I was a week or so ago), it is probably because of deep feelings of shame, or fear.
For example, there might be deep seated thoughts of shame that you’re not aware of—that are driving everything you do: “I’ve got to police others, they’re not doing it for themselves,” or, “I’m shameful in my sins, why would Christ care about me?” Or, “I fear that I can’t receive personal revelation, I’ve been so wrong before…” or, “my performance is linked to my worth…so I must not be worthy or worth anything, because I’ve never done anything worthwhile.”
These thoughts are ALWAYS lies. There is only fear, or love. Those are the only two choices we have to act from.
Here is a sample from James B. Cox:
Healing with Christ 