YouTube Done Right

by Nicole Marie Hilton, June 21, 2023

Today was not a good day. Sorry for the TMI, but I hadn’t pooped for, like…three days? Going on four. I had felt extremely sick, weak, and could barely get myself to go get an ice cream with my Dad—which I didn’t eat. Another first.

And, so I lay in bed doing nothing on YouTube after we got home.

Then we were interrupted by Tammy Graan–who is an Angel and my hero. She’s so filled with light, that one of these days I wouldn’t be surprised if she were translated. She gave me a wonderful massage, and then… I had some success. At last. I don’t think you want to know any more details than that. So anyway,

Back to YouTube.

I went down such avenues as laughing at Matt Walsh’s dry sense of humor, creepy videos about toddlers who are extremely violent, psychologist stuff, Jordan Peterson, The new Barbie movie trailers, “The ghost that’s in my child!”, updates on the stranded submarine and what they’re doing about that, a couple Conference videos, updates on Brett Cooper (love her!), got upset about Lia Thomas–again, then watched Tyler Oliviera’s crazy reaction to this hero who helps people on the streets of Portland, Oregon, with, say, a smattering of cat videos here and there throughout. Like salt.

Cat salt? Should this be a thing?

ANYWAY, I was definitely going somewhere with this. Oh. So…I felt a bit of warm fuzzies somewhere in my heart on that last one. Then, this:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=iqiH2gfCL7I&feature=share

And then there was so much light in that one it was like I had BECOME a warm fuzzy! Like, I was sobbing.

On YouTube, a cat peeing in a toilet is like shopping for a bra on Temu, or eating at Burger King. Yes, I suppppppose it’s “good….” (unless it’s not) but what about Good Better Best?

Only the Spirit knows what’s best for such moments. And want I really needed, was to SOB my eyes RAW.

What we need aren’t great actresses flaunting (oh, but trust me, I wanted to be one), we don’t need critical people, we don’t need to do any violence…. What we need are people looking outside of themselves and who are raw and suffering with tears and excited eyes and laughter.

I pray: “I want to be real again, Father. I don’t want to become like my childhood all over again–just finding my latest fix to keep me going. Like a Hunger Games capital person just skimming the surface of life. I want to actually be lovingly living from day to day, and be surrounded by genuine friends. Or become a genuine friend myself.

“And most of all, I want my heart to be filled with love for my “enemies”. And I want to want my heart to be filled with love for them whenever I don’t feel like it.”

It’s always been somewhere over the horizon. Except when I leapt outwards into the clouds, oh, then I was COMPLETELY ALIVE and PRESENT, known and full of light just like the others around me.

There’s that saying about sharing your light, you know–the analogy for it is it’s like lighting a candle. The flame isn’t taken away by lighting another flame–it only gets bigger and there’s more to share.

So, after basically licking up the dregs of YouTube–I mean, there were a couple of good videos in there–but they were by no means life changing…I realized that there’s a certain…saltiness. A meat dish sense, if you will. To the above YouTube video. It actually changed me. Gave me something to build on. It MOVED my heart and emotions deep inside of me.

I’d like to say that it’s good to be informed — and we should all be to a degree –but if it’s taking you away from your MISSION in LIFE, I think being informed should and must take a backseat…it’s the whole question of good, better, and BEST. And the best things? They change your heart. They make you into something better.

Someone who I think is Jesus Christ (He’s invisible right now) just came into my room to massage my feet, telling me I’m on the right track and also reminding me that, while I can’t feel my feet, I can definitely feel my spirit inside of my feet. (One of the perks of being paralyzed, I guess. You always know when a glorious being is in your room to give you a foot massage!) I’m going to have to finish this writing tomorrow.

P.s. Yeah, it’s weird but when He does this, you typically can’t feel it, right? But it’s like my spirit is a hand feeling someone massaging the glove of my body! Anyway… just remember: you’re definitely not the glove!