I experienced that which awaits those facing utter damnation. It was bleaker than the worst trauma I’ve experienced in spirit or in body.
Becoming subject to programming from the dark side—whether by our own choice or through trauma or abuse—inevitably leads us into a spiral of self-destructive beliefs, attitudes, and decisions. For those of us finding ourselves neck deep in dark programming, it takes a miracle to escape with our lives. I feel for my poor, worn-out guardian angels who have gotten me safely onto the path of healing in spite of myself.
By Nicole Marie Hilton, September 22, 2020 I heard two men outside of the padded cell. One fiddled with some keys, the lock clicked, and the large metal door swung open. They found me sitting quietly, cross-legged, on the cement floor by the drain. The always-on bright light overhead lit up the whiteContinue reading “Freedom in the Fishbowl, Pt 4”
In mortality we forget who we really are. Once in this vulnerable state, we are then confused and abused by the dark side. Great growth can be won by fighting through the gauntlet to regain freedom, peace, and our own identity. We must be the instigator of this healing process; it must be an expression of our own will. But always in the wings is Jesus Christ waiting for us to express our faith and personal effort. In my experience He is so much more than a healer; He is my kindest, smartest, and funniest brother. He is real.
What do you hold onto when all hope is lost and the world only sends you pain? When I’ve reached out, and found nothing, my last remaining hope was the idea of bringing the pain to an end, permanently. When that last option was taken away, God was my last hope. When nothing seems further out of reach than God, that can be when we truly find Him. When I shift my trust onto God, and his Son Jesus Christ, I’ve found lasting relief. I cannot become too dependent on God. The more I rely upon Him, the more freedom I experience and the more permanent my healing.
Opposition. Knowing we came to earth to experience it doesn’t provide much solace when we’re confronting it. Facing extreme opposition as a child trained me to attract and fan the flames of more and more opposition in my life. It also robbed me of the emotional tools to cope with all of it. Some say we will never be tempted more than we can handle; it’s a lie. If it were true, then there would be perfect people on earth, and we wouldn’t need Christ’s atonement. The fact is, that for many of us, we are asked to confront more than we can bear and, then, we finally learn to rely on God.
We each chose to follow Mother Eve into Satan’s fallen, painful world. We knew for a time we would forget our true selves and be captive to pain and possible abuse. Why would we chose this? Why would God allow it?
In our extremes we are often in a better position to give God our full focus and attention. The combination of being alert and humble allows Him to upgrade our lives and rewrite our truths if we will permit it.
As the dark side abuses its victims, it also teaches them to harm and abuse themselves. It then rewards self-harm with mockery and shaming. At a certain point a perpetrator is no longer required, because the victim will self-perpetuate the abuse cycle with self-harm.